My Nigerian Story- Vestiges of a Cuckoo Nation Part 1 of 2

My Nigerian Story- Vestiges of a Cuckoo Nation Part 1 of 2

My journey into the United Nations of Nigeria was certainly bereaved with many complexities. Ironically, one of the national cable channel “Hi Nolly” kept on repeating the same approximately 10 clips of Nigerians recanting their Nigerian stories in a nation of close to 200million individuals. I was only intrigued by the story of Bolanle Austen Powers who admonished Nigerians who are unable to appreciate our language, culture, and values.  Thus, from Lagos, Benin, Onitsha, to Owerri and to Port-Harcourt, I and my family were confronted with so many unique chronologies of the Nigerian story that were systematically exempt from the propaganda machine that was eschewed from the Hi Nolly platform and our so- called elitist national dogma. However, the reality is that we are saddled with a nation that purports to be the giant of Africa while we remain mired in mediocrity, corruption, and mismanagement, hence the assessment of our current state. 

                Our problems are magnified with the introduction into our airports and encounter with our so-called first line ambassadors. Apart from the general deplorable conditions of the airports (Lagos, Owerri, and Port-Harcourt which are the ones I visited) for a nation that is ranked one of the largest oil exporter in the globe, the men and women of the Nigerian Customs and Excise are a national disgrace of the highest order. While few foreigners and citizens of the United Nations of Nigeria might attempt to smuggle in and out various items, our immigration officers seem to thrive in collecting bribes with no shame, trepidation, and pretense. Certainly, there is a general sagacity that these civil servants work on voluntary bases for our country and are mandated by the “powers that be” to use their stead in sourcing revenues for their general upkeep from travelers. The emergent of former Vice-President of Nigeria and Deputy Director of Nigerian Customs and Excise Alhaji Atiku Abubakar as a presidential aspirant is telling. His recent revelations that he became a multi-millionaire as a federal employee before the June 12th 1993 election debacle should encourage the investigation of the profligacy of pubic trust that is very pervasive in the United Nations of Nigeria.

                Moreover, I was able to acquire the title of the second half of this commentary from my six year old son who visited Nigeria for the first time in his life. After exhausting some energy trying to dissuade my young man from summing the United Nations of Nigeria as a “Cuckoo land,” I decided to put on my objective lenses and stop my romanticism. Thus the ability to wonder why some members of our security forces at the Lagos state Murtala Mohammed airport would assault a woman who came to pickup a man from the international airport. Our uniform personnel verbally harassed this lady, struck her vehicle, and called her all types of names in the book (una no sey dem must call am Ashawo becos she no give dem money). I and a couple of bystanders literally put ourselves between the lady and our gun wielding officers who wanted to beat her up. This particular officer had to be restrained by his fellow law enforcement members. My immediate family, who were in the country for the first time witnessed this cruel treatment, they remained traumatized by the reactions of the officers.

                Consequently a minority of Nigerians by any scientific measure but with long lasting impacts do not comprehend that first impressions matter. We are oblivious of the fact that there are reasons beyond scenery why thousands visit places like the Caribbean, Ghana, and other global tourist destinations over and over again. The three major reasons are the hospitality, sincerity, and effective customer service. I have personally experienced these factors in Jamaica and the Cayman Island. These places have citizens who realize that most visitors come to invest their time and limited resources during their trips and they appreciate their guest. In the process more people descend on these areas due to positive affirmations (simple word of mouth oh!). The resulting effect of this trust and openness is that some single-holiday seekers have been known to get engaged and married to locals in these areas. In these places visitors are not generally entrapped by 419 schemes of marriage and other deceptions.    

Unlike the Lagos Area Boys who are attempting to annex the Bar Beach in Lagos the aforementioned people and places treat individuals with courtesy and respect while getting the best out of the situation. There are no get rich schemes like claiming to clean the beach despite the visible filthy of our national treasury and using the proceeds (give me my money) to buy beer and smoke ganja right in front of those you want to obtain. The belligerent young man that approached me for his money should thank his luck stars like I admonished him. My wife and children essentially saved him from more confrontation. What got me so upset was that he made it seem like he handed me his money fifteen years ago when I visited the beach with my good friend Mr. Dateme Amarchree on the eve of my travel abroad. But as a criminologist and social community activist I realize that my young brother is a victim of his social environment. The dreams of our young people seem to have been stolen from them because of the national problems of corruption and mismanagement. I only hope that His Excellency Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola, and any other dedicated official or community activist are not too bothered by other elementary or monumental stuff to tackle these issues.   

                Relatively, the women and men of the Lagos State National Museum need to be applauded for their professionalism and etiquette. They represented the entire nation with class and dignity throughout the tour of the exhibitions. As an entity they were in star contrast to many vendors and businesses that inflated their prices because that could dictate the foreignness in some guest and operate from the prism that those of us that happen to reside abroad are either nameless “Dollars” and/or “Pounds.” I am sure that my son who conned the “Cuckoo land” insignia would side me on this point because of his malleability.  More importantly I hope that the other Nigerian family from Florida whom we met there, who had children in their late teens and early twenties, saw a respectable side of the United Nations of Nigeria. These same Nigerian kids from the United States who coincidental were in our country for the first time and saw us later in the day when we were in a heated debate with the thugs at the Bar beach. Though their parents informed us that they experienced similar problems with the “young property owners,” it is my hope that the children will want to return to our country.  

Comparatively, the National Museum needs to continue their professional standard so they do not suffer the fate of ABC bus services that used to be the pearl bearer of professionalism in the mass transit system. When I left the United Nations of Nigeria in 1995 the ABC bus company was in a top distinct class and the envy of other transportation firms. We as a people sure know how to begin but the problem remains in our ability to sustain a consistent high standard over the years. Anyway why should we expect ABC bus services or any other mass transit company for that matter to continue their initial principles when our federal and state governments can not fulfill the elementary task of providing safe new roads and maintaining the subsisting roads?    

Nnamdi Frank Akwada, MSW, BA, Community Activist
Masters of Social Work (2010)
University of Maryland Baltimore
Health Specialization
Management and Community Organization/Clinical Concentration
University Student Government Association
Chief of Public Relations, 2009-2010
Social Work Community Outreach Service-
Maryland Community Fellow Intern 2009-2010
Bachelors in Criminology and Criminal Justice (2001)
University of Maryland College Park